Reverb10 – Dec 20 – Beyond Avoidance

What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)

(Author: Jake Nickell)

Wishing Well, Aberystwyth (Emma Lloyd)

The answer to this question is: nothing massive. There are things I would like to do – and I’ve written about them in an earlier post, but in general I did most of what I expected to do, and a few surprise things, too.

One of my major plans for the year had been to go back to university and restart/ finish my MA in Creative Writing. My former tutor had said that he would be happy to have me back, and I had the money to pay for it, but a few bureaucratic hiccups eventually made it impossible.

I was horribly upset about this for a long time, and started to see it as a clear sign that writing obviously wasn’t part of my future; naturally this line of catastrophising was a self-fulfilling prophecy when it came to me actually sitting down and writing.

But over the summer, I started to dabble a little. The weather was warm, and I treated myself to a comfortable garden chair. I picked out one of my old writing textbooks and started to work through the exercises.

Coincidentally – or not, depending on what your belief systems might be – a few weeks later I was invited to join the Planet Poetika squad at an event some three or four months into the future.

I worked out an impressive timetable of writing, preparing and learning poems which never actually worked out. In fact I spent a frantic two weeks before the event pulling new and old work into shape.

But somehow this kick-started a regular writing habit. I guess you could say I got my mojo back. That, and a healthy side-serving of self-confidence. I’m getting better and better at finding – and giving myself – the space to write in, and using my time to fill it productively.

Next year it is my intention to keep going: finish the novel, work on a new collection of poetry and put my work out there. It’s definitely time…



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1 Comment

  1. yay 🙂


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